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Ambrose Bierce

Top 10 Ambrose Bierce Quotes,  American
Total Quotes : 156
Man Speak Find

Backbite. To speak of a man as you find him when he can't find you.

- Ambrose Bierce

Happiness Which Period

Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.

- Ambrose Bierce

Poison Two Italian

Belladonna, n.: In Italian a beautiful lady; in English a deadly poison. A striking example of the essential identity of the two tongues.

- Ambrose Bierce

Satisfaction Nothing

Compromise, n. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction of thinking he has got what he ought not to have, and is deprived of nothing except what was justly his due.

- Ambrose Bierce

Wedding Bride Prospect

Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.

- Ambrose Bierce

Wealth Either Advantages

Eulogy. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.

- Ambrose Bierce

Education Wise Which

Education, n.: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.

- Ambrose Bierce

Father Imagination Doubt

Doubt is the father of invention.

- Ambrose Bierce

Nature Ignorance

Religion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.

- Ambrose Bierce

Money Plans Architect

Architect. One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money.

- Ambrose Bierce

Happiness Sensation

Happiness: an agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the misery of another.

- Ambrose Bierce

Mouth Fork Putting

Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.

- Ambrose Bierce

Road Middle Over

We know what happens to people who stay in the middle of the road. They get run over.

- Ambrose Bierce

Mother Mom Worn

Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.

- Ambrose Bierce

War Geography Teaching

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

- Ambrose Bierce

Book Skull Erudition

Erudition - dust shaken out of a book into an empty skull.

- Ambrose Bierce

Wish Person Talks

Bore, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen.

- Ambrose Bierce

Own Particularly Genealogy

Genealogy, n. An account of one's descent from a man who did not particularly care to trace his own.

- Ambrose Bierce

Drunk Getting Convenient

Bacchus, n.: A convenient deity invented by the ancients as an excuse for getting drunk.

- Ambrose Bierce

Wise Head Cabbage

Cabbage: a familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head.

- Ambrose Bierce