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Ambrose Bierce

Top 10 Ambrose Bierce Quotes,  American
Total Quotes : 156
Fortune Friendless Having

Friendless. Having no favors to bestow. Destitute of fortune. Addicted to utterance of truth and common sense.

- Ambrose Bierce

Own Particularly Genealogy

Genealogy, n. An account of one's descent from a man who did not particularly care to trace his own.

- Ambrose Bierce

Wedding Bride Prospect

Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.

- Ambrose Bierce

Happiness Which Period

Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.

- Ambrose Bierce

Drunk Getting Convenient

Bacchus, n.: A convenient deity invented by the ancients as an excuse for getting drunk.

- Ambrose Bierce

Wealth Either Advantages

Eulogy. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.

- Ambrose Bierce

Father Imagination Doubt

Doubt is the father of invention.

- Ambrose Bierce

Leading Nowhere Route

Philosophy: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.

- Ambrose Bierce

His Philosopher Delusions

All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher.

- Ambrose Bierce

Time Hours Period

Day, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent.

- Ambrose Bierce

Evidence Parallel Speaks

Faith: Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel.

- Ambrose Bierce

Fortune Misfortunes Kinds

Calamities are of two kinds: misfortunes to ourselves, and good fortune to others.

- Ambrose Bierce

Would Too Punish

Amnesty, n. The state's magnanimity to those offenders whom it would be too expensive to punish.

- Ambrose Bierce

Financial Tribe Savages

Creditor. One of a tribe of savages dwelling beyond the Financial Straits and dreaded for their desolating incursions.

- Ambrose Bierce

Nature Ignorance

Religion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.

- Ambrose Bierce

Poison Two Italian

Belladonna, n.: In Italian a beautiful lady; in English a deadly poison. A striking example of the essential identity of the two tongues.

- Ambrose Bierce

Money Plans Architect

Architect. One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money.

- Ambrose Bierce

Sports Modern Taught

Academe, n.: An ancient school where morality and philosophy were taught. Academy, n.: A modern school where football is taught.

- Ambrose Bierce

Equal Left Pick

Ambidextrous, adj.: Able to pick with equal skill a right-hand pocket or a left.

- Ambrose Bierce

Famous Miserable

Famous, adj.: Conspicuously miserable.

- Ambrose Bierce