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Ambrose Bierce

Top 10 Ambrose Bierce Quotes,  American
Total Quotes : 156
Fortune Friendless Having

Friendless. Having no favors to bestow. Destitute of fortune. Addicted to utterance of truth and common sense.

- Ambrose Bierce

Wedding Bride Prospect

Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.

- Ambrose Bierce

Happiness Which Period

Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.

- Ambrose Bierce

Father Imagination Doubt

Doubt is the father of invention.

- Ambrose Bierce

Drunk Getting Convenient

Bacchus, n.: A convenient deity invented by the ancients as an excuse for getting drunk.

- Ambrose Bierce

Own Particularly Genealogy

Genealogy, n. An account of one's descent from a man who did not particularly care to trace his own.

- Ambrose Bierce

Politics Hands Other

Alliance - in international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other's pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.

- Ambrose Bierce

Leading Nowhere Route

Philosophy: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.

- Ambrose Bierce

Nature Ignorance

Religion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.

- Ambrose Bierce

Poison Two Italian

Belladonna, n.: In Italian a beautiful lady; in English a deadly poison. A striking example of the essential identity of the two tongues.

- Ambrose Bierce

Equal Left Pick

Ambidextrous, adj.: Able to pick with equal skill a right-hand pocket or a left.

- Ambrose Bierce

Wealth Either Advantages

Eulogy. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.

- Ambrose Bierce

Financial Tribe Savages

Creditor. One of a tribe of savages dwelling beyond the Financial Straits and dreaded for their desolating incursions.

- Ambrose Bierce

Satisfaction Nothing

Compromise, n. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction of thinking he has got what he ought not to have, and is deprived of nothing except what was justly his due.

- Ambrose Bierce

Happiness Sensation

Happiness: an agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the misery of another.

- Ambrose Bierce

War Geography Teaching

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

- Ambrose Bierce

Mother Mom Worn

Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.

- Ambrose Bierce

Wise Head Cabbage

Cabbage: a familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head.

- Ambrose Bierce

His Philosopher Delusions

All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher.

- Ambrose Bierce

Would Too Punish

Amnesty, n. The state's magnanimity to those offenders whom it would be too expensive to punish.

- Ambrose Bierce